I admit, it is probably really hard to come up with an album title. I mean, it’s so much pressure, you have to come up with a title that expresses what the songs in the album talk about while being unique and interesting. There have been a lot of albums with cool names that fit perfectly, my recent favorite being Halsey’s ‘Manic.’ On the other hand, there have been a fair number of albums with titles that should have never happened. Today’s list talks about 7 such albums.

1. The Boy Bands Have Won, and All the Copyists and the Tribute Bands and the TV Talent Show Producers Have Won, If We Allow Our Culture to Be Shaped by Mimicry, Whether from Lack of Ideas or from Exaggerated Respect. You Should Never Try to Freeze Culture. What You Can Do Is Recycle That Culture. Take Your Older Brother’s Hand-Me-Down Jacket and Re-Style It, Re-Fashion It to the Point Where It Becomes Your Own. But Don’t Just Regurgitate Creative History, or Hold Art and Music and Literature as Fixed, Untouchable and Kept Under Glass. The People Who Try to ‘Guard’ Any Particular Form of Music Are, Like the Copyists and Manufactured Bands, Doing It the Worst Disservice, Because the Only Thing That You Can Do to Music That Will Damage It Is Not Change It, Not Make It Your Own. Because Then It Dies, Then It’s Over, Then It’s Done, and the Boy Bands Have Won. By a British band called Chumbawamba.

This album title holds the Guinness world record for the longest album title with 156 total words contained it. Now, I don’t know if I’m just being critical, but I feel like that entire album title should have been the lyrics for a song on the album and they could’ve just named the album “The album” or something. But what do I know? Moving on…

2. When the Pawn Hits the Conflicts He Thinks Like a King What He Knows Throws the Blows When He Goes to the Fight and He’ll Win the Whole Thing ‘fore He Enters the Ring There’s No Body to Batter When Your Mind Is Your Might So When You Go Solo, You Hold Your Own Hand and Remember That Depth Is the Greatest of Heights and If You Know Where You Stand, Then You Know Where to Land and If You Fall It Won’t Matter, Cuz You’ll Know That You’re Right. By Fiona Apple.

This album held the record for longest album title for 9 years until 2008 when Chumbawamba snatched up the title. This album title too should have been employed as lyrics and the album should have been named “The pawn wins.” Instead of this entire paragraph that I have read through 5 times and I still do not understand. Seriously, read it and see if you don’t get confused.

3. Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fungus By Omar Rodriguez-Lopez.

Personally, I have no problem with this album title. I quite like it actually, it’s weird, but in a good way. I only wish the album cover has a heart covered in fungus on it.

4. Vivadixiesubmarinetransmissionplot By Sparklehorse.

I feel like after this band decided to name this album a jumble of words, they must have thought they were the smartest people to ever walk the face of the earth. They’d be like “we’re so smart, we named our album a jumble of words that even when separated to form a sentence means nothing, har har har.”

5. Live Fast Diarrea By The Vandals.

I don’t even know what to say, so I’ll just say that I hope they misspelt diarrhea on purpose.

6. Get A Grip On Yourself By Wank.

that’s an embarrasing name.

I saw this and I thought “That’s an unfortunate name for a group.” I tried to google ‘Wank band’ and the search results brought up links to Pornhub. even google does not understand why tf you would named yourself wank.

7. Origin Of The Feces By Type O Negative.
Ok, ok. This is just it what?!!!! As if the name wasn’t bad enough, the album art just had to be… this…

That’s all for today, please follow us on our social media pages for regular updates, Aloha!!

Written by Aderonke.

Sheba Aderonke

Posted Oct 8th, 2020


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